Get ready for a coaster ride

Getting an advice from a not-so-reliable friend of mine, I've decided to follow his once in a blue-moon-sensible-opinion. And that is instead of wasting my very precious time with addressing my feelings and other unproductive blah's here in this blog (which I am pretty sure that I'm the only viewer there is), why not blog about everything that has to be done in school. Plus, due to my viral infection, which limits me from any patient contact, (for my non-dental 0 viewers, it means I can not move forward with my clinical requirements!) might as well just do something productive.
THIS IS NOT TO BE DISREGARDED.
You are a fellow with, let's say, lesser ability to manage her time very well. Take that seriously.

Here is a list of the tasks you have to accomplish. Promptly arranged based on importance and urgency. So move your ass kid!

1. Endodontic Case study
    This is big time opportunity just waiting to be grabbed. Five years of being in the College of Dentistry, I have lived a routine weekdays of studying, eating, "nakaw na tulog" in between classes, A.C.E. every now and then, 3 hours of sleep and now clinic. That everyday. Then comes the weekend, which basically do not make any hint of uniqueness. Now this. An open chance to make a difference. To FINALLY differentiate myself from the rest of the 700 dental students in University of the East, Philippines. I can not let this go to waste. I have to stop ranting about the pile of work lined up for me.
I have to move.

2. Last 3 Prosthodontic requirements (Anterior FPD and PJC + Posterior FPD)
   Last 1 month, chick! Better stand up and be a man.

3. Pulpotomy, SSC, SOC
    Now, I am having panic attack. Can I finish this in a span of less than a month? Lord help me. What am I even doing here blogging? :( :( :(

4. Research defense
    I don't think this (blogging) is helping AT ALL.

5. Open a possible posterior RCT (?)
     Sign of my unskillful time management "skill". Overestimating my abilities and underestimating the short span of time left for me. Bow.

6. Finalize ACE seminar. 
     My saving grace. I hope.

How do I squeeze these all in?

Keen, God loves you

"...I have learned that God allows us to go through a state where we cannot find meaning in what we’re currently doing, to give us a chance to pause for a while and revisit the reason why we are where we are in the first place." -Fred Ting's To study, and to study well, is the least that we can do

On dreaming, big

With all the muscle and hassle, I should keep my self still and be warned of being overwhelmed. To remember to take it one step at a time. With all the pending academic and clinical requirements plus of course, the gigantic responsibilities I, kind of automatically, acquired when I was elected as the president of my organization, I could just decide to die. But then again, I refuse to fail, by any means, at any of these. This may sound ambitious and full of thyself (but what's wrong with being such), I feel sure that I will be somebody great, someday. The idea of just passing through life without any mark is unthinkable. Pondering about these, come to think of it, if I fail as a career woman, I still have a shot of not failing as a mother. Thank God for my uterus. Yet, that is not the road I choose to take. Motherhood will not be my safety net. I will be successful then, I will marry then, create six magnificent children, whom I will love, shelter, love, play with, love and LOVE. You see, I don't gamble, I do the math.
There are days, well most days, anxiety attacks my vulnerable mind with what the future holds for me. Those days would be so unbearable. I become a ticking bomb. Just waiting for someone to pull the thread then BOOM. It is difficult to run away from something my blood line...is most likely to achieve.
I resort to praying. Hoping and wishing that my plans coincide with His.

Confessions of a coward (Part 1 of many)

As the wind forcefully blows my hair and activates my arrector pili muscle (well, just wanted to sound smart), series of a particular memory rise inside my brain. When someone raises the question, "Will you go out with me?", plus the decency to follow it up with, "I'll bring you home.", one would most likely be  jittery and say the BIG, "I do.", well I mean, "Yes.". For most girls, I consider way braver and smarter and less complicated than I am, they probably would have done what I wish I had. But will never be able to. Ever.
This is the confessions of a coward. (Dreading my need to sound as melodramatic as how movies do it.)
I have dreams of finding that one true love.Who doesn't? But when it does try to creep in my veins, to slowly enter my incapable heart, I shoo it away. This is not a girl who has fallen in love and was left broken. This is a girl drowning with the thoughts of 'what-might-have-been's'. Perhaps, my choice of regretting what I haven't done than regret something I did (in which I believed was more safe than the latter) is a humongous note from a dummy. Guess, I should have just.
I have learned that there are perpetual interventions that persist in our daily lives. That everything has a reason and that reason is everything blah blah. Quite not sure though, if this has now become my habitual excuse for my lack of courage to JUST. PLUNGE. IN! Sixty, rather seventy percent of me, okay, eighty, is now convinced that I have fear of commitment. Sounds cliche in this era of grotesque failed marriages.
When did this world, I, start fearing that uncomfortable, awkward first date. Do not forget that comfort we (okay, I) immerse ourselves in when we communicate with the opposite sex in a loud, dark, congested room. Foolish girl. I've always nagged myself and my girl friends to be meticulous in choosing that right person. I've missed the idea that, I too, should be meticulous in developing myself to be that right woman. That if I want to bring home the bacon, I must swallow that fear, wholly.

To that boy across the table. I wish you took more time to know me. I wish I took the courage to know you too.