EVEN IF YOU'RE GONE

I wouldn't be here (BLOGGING) if it weren't for my sister. She could take legal actions against me for reading her private property. Her blogspot. It was a window of opportunity to know what's going on with her life and I had to grab it. I do not judge her. She is my sister. So to sum it up. I am here because after reading her "DIARY" of some sort, I was inspired to create my own.

My first blog would not be about me. But rather about her. My sister.

She is probably the sweetest person I've met in this planet. She is talented beyond words, intelligent and beautiful. I've seen her grow and become so indifferent with the world. There is a part in me that knows that I am half responsible for how she has turned out. Don't get me wrong. She is not a nut crack. She is rather, lost. I have watched her grew so much distance from everyone who tried to discover the soul in her. It is as if she let her wounds turn her into the person she's not.

As I was going through her blogs last night, there's a big aching thump that consecutively channels through my heart, my veins, my hands. I couldn't breath. It was like those nights when I would have this insane thoughts of losing my mother permanently. It's nothing like any heartaches. It is deep and dark. I would normally react aggressively and question her weak decisions about love. But last night, it was different. I wept for my sister. I grieved for the realization that I have lost that girl who was once sweet, caring, juvenile and willing. So trustful. So loving. Gentle. And I didn't even kiss her goodbye. I was too preoccupied with my world. Where was I when she was departing? Where was I...

I lack the wisdom to understand why it was shown to me, her blog. Or I could just be full of curiosity. But I know He is communicating with me. I am personally weak and fragile. But for some heavenly reasons, He wants me to know. To do something maybe? I don't know...

I hope I'm not too late...

aksv